Pros & Cons of the Course

I learned SO much from this class over the span of the semester, and I really felt like I implemented a lot of changes into how I interacted with others. I loved how easy it was to grasp the concepts, because it can get so overwhelming when it's incomprehensible. Also, being able to read what others were saying and seeing how similar I was to them in many ways was reassuring that we all go through trials but can learn from them. The only thing that I struggled with was remembering to span out the posts every 12 hours, but that was something that was fully my responsibility. I have already recommended this class to many others, because I think that if we all learned how to have more constructive conflicts the world would function a lot smoother. Plus, I sometimes feel like courses that I have taken go in one ear and out the other, but this class really got me hooked and I wanted to learn more.

Chapter 16 Post 1

I think that people have such negative views of conflict because of past experiences when they didn’t know how to have constructive arguments and would just end up getting angry and frustrated…most of the time relationships end because of arguments or going over the same disagreement over and over again and getting no resolution that will get them to the same goal.  Honestly, after learning more about conflict after this class I do fear it less. Sure, I make the same mistakes sometimes but I have more of an understanding as to why I do those things or choose those words, which is helpful for everyone involved. I feel like it’s that way with everything, the more you know about a topic the less you’re afraid to speak up on it and you feel more powerful/knowledgeable. Everyone thinks fights or arguments are bad and mean that you have a unhealthy relationship, when in actuality you can disagree and really grow together instead of apart…but it takes effort and understanding.

Week 11 Post 2

When have false attributions you have made about another exacerbated a conflict situation?  Have there been times when making accurate attributions about the other has helped you?

I definitely do make mistakes and have false attributions about others, but I think I'm getting better. I would tend to blame everyone else for mistakes and fights, and fail to see my own shortcomings. This would lead to long and drawn out conflicts that would never truly be resolved. That was when I was extremely immature and would not want to admit that I was doing something wrong or not wise. Now I feel like I can steer clear of that and be able to do more accurate attributions than false. But there are times when I make accurate attributions and I can end up learning something new about someone or they can teach me a skill, etc. When I know someone is good and can lead me in the right direction, I like to get their advice or learn how they cope with certain situations. I hope that if someone saw that in me that they would feel the same way and want to grow.

Week 11 Post 1

After searching the terms forgiveness, reconciliation and revenge, the results for revenge were so much higher that it actually kind of shocked me. I do think that it was increased a bit more because there is a show titled "Revenge" so that was mixed in there, but a lot of the time I feel like our society is so focused on getting revenge. But having the ability to forgive someone and reconcile, and that's not saying you're weak or that your relationship would be the same, is so much more fulfilling that just seeking out to get revenge on someone. Revenge is also probably easier to most people than to work through an issue and truly let it go and move on, which is sad because if they were to do that instead of being vindictive then their lives would prove to be much more rewarding. There were a lot of "revenge ideas" for people who have wronged you when I searched, and it wasn't uplifting. For forgiveness and reconciliation it was more helpful links on how to achieve it. I guess I worry that not enough people are searching those two terms and going more for revenge, which is why there can be so much violence in our world.

Week 10 Post 3

A concept that stood out to me in this week’s reading was the idea of victimization, and how people can use that to be manipulative. I am a firm believer in there is your side, their side, and the truth. I have known many people in my life who have stuck to their own side, and played the victim card. While there are some who are truly victims of abuse (physical or mental), it really bothers me when some try and wrongfully make themselves the victims. If you are at fault, own it and I guarantee there will be more respect for you in the end…but when someone plays the “whoa is me” angle over and over again, those around them begin to see it and their validity is gone. Some honestly might even believe they are wronged because they are so deep into a self-centered orientation, which makes it harder to break through to.

Week 10 Post 2

Forgiveness is something that I used to not be able to find, but as I’m maturing I now look back on issues I had and they just seem trivial now…I have moved on from my high school group of friends who I constantly was bickering with and after we parted ways I didn’t think I would forgive them. It had to do with a breakup with my old boyfriend which didn’t end so well, and over the course of a few months when I began seeing my now-fiancé they basically chose him over me. Initially I was very hurt, and I decided that cutting off the communication is what needed to happen. Whenever I would hear about them it would set off a twinge of angst inside of me because I felt that they had betrayed me. But I realize now what I was feeling was sadness because I was losing friendships that had meant a lot to me, but now I see why that had to happen. Some of them reach out to me from time to time, and I wish them nothing but the best, but now I have friendships that are much deeper and where I am headed now.

Week 10, Post 1

I am happy to say that this answer has definitely changed for me over the past couple of years…before it was about what I was pretending to be (going to parties, trying to look “cool”) but since being with my fiancé my Facebook has changed into who I really am. I think if someone read my Facebook they would see someone who is growing and making wise decisions, that really cares for her family and friends. I have actually deleted posts that were inappropriate because I think about (now, not before) how I want future employers to see me. Relating this back to communication and conflict is easy, because we can be self-centered or more focused on our relationships and how we affect others…I don’t post personal statuses attacking others because I know that that can be painful. There needs to be more of a filter on Facebook just like in our daily lives.